Let me just say, I love being a mom.
Granted, I wouldn’t classify it as “easy…”
Many of my selfish tendencies had to be dragged out the door, kicking and screaming. [I’ve held on to a cup of coffee + treat at naptime… if you try to interrupt that, well, consider yourself warned.]
Also, being a mom is gross. So.much.bodily.fluid.
And it’s exhausting. For every time I said I was tired in the presence of a young mom (before I had a newborn)… I am so deeply sorry. You probably wanted to punch me.
There are a lot of big feelings. So much love and so much emotion for such small people.
There is a steep learning curve… of the sink or swim variety.
There is a lot of laughter.
But there are also a lot of tears. [Baby tears and mom tears.]
It is a sweet and precious gift, this journey of motherhood.
One thing that surprised me was the isolation. I’m only in year 3, so my perspective is from these early-mom years. If you’re at home with your kids, and attempt to get together with another friend, your conversation is in half-sentences interrupted by the complete chaos of 2 or more children under 3 feet tall. If you work, then you want the time in the evening with your kids and it’s the whole crazy-post-work-rush-to-dinner-and-bedtime thing. On the weekends, the last thing you’re thinking about is coffee with a girlfriend. I think regardless of what your day-to-day looks like, mothering small people can be an isolating time. Maybe I just especially notice it because I’m an extrovert, but I’ve heard introverted mommy friends attest to this too.
Because we’ve moved a few times in these first few years of having littles, I’ve made friends that now live all over the country. I have to say, thank you Jesus for technology. I love the chance to catch up on a facebook message or group text or even to hear from one of them on instagram. It doesn’t replace the face-to-face, mug-to-mug conversation (because I don’t know how to have deep conversation without coffee), but it does feel like they’re saying “hi.” And sometimes, you just need someone to say “hi.”
So, here we are… Hi. I’m glad you’re here… on the “real mom life” page of this blog. I’ve debated whether to incorporate any mommy-blog things on here (you know – grocery savings, sleep training, cloth diaper reviews, blah blah blah), because well, the phrase “mom blog” makes me want to go UGH. I don’t know. I feel like when say “mom blog,” everyone wants to roll their eyes. But I think I’m just going to lose all my pride and admit that at least this section of my blog is is some what mommy-blogger-ish.
When I first entered mom world, I had no idea how controversial everything was. I would google something “how-to-get-baby-to-stop-crying” and in .23 seconds, 1,923,094,233 results popped up, all claiming to have all the answers and that anyone who didn’t do what they did was a terrible mom. Of course all the advice contradicted each other too.
How could you feed your kid a bottle!?
Don’t give them a pacifier. Do give them a pacifier.
How could you co-sleep? You’ll crush your baby.
You don’t co-sleep? You’ll ruin your child’s emotional attachment forever.
Organic baby food.
What type of diapers.
You put your kids in time out? You’re scarring them for life.
You don’t put your kids in time out? That’s why they’re punching each other.
I mean, it’s ridiculous people. Moms seem to have opinions on EVERYTHING. And I just really have resisted going there. Because I want motherhood to be about grace. I want this blog to be about grace. I want my relationships with other moms to be about the sweet, yet painful sanctification that we are experiencing as Jesus says “less of you, more of me.”
A lot of time and energy as a mom is spent on the mundane. The sleeping and the feeding and the diapering and the disciplining. The stuff that makes people crazy. The real mom life stuff.
So, I’ve decided to include and start writing about some of the aforementioned mundane under this “real mom life” category. (You’ll be able to find posts of this nature up at the top right “real mom life” tab.) There are a zillion better mommy blogs you could read for perfect ways to clean your house and the best organic baby food and how to sleep train your child in 1 day. But this one will be real. No facades. No guilt trips. No claims to perfection. A tiny corner of the internet for a community of real moms to say – “hey this is what’s working for me…” There is a LOT of freedom in motherhood, and I have mommy friends on almost every point of the spectrum. You can be friends with someone who is different than you.
Granola-y whole foods shopper, or processed-food-buying walmart shopper.
Co-sleeper or not.
Working or stay at home.
No matter your brand of motherhood, you are welcome here. Toss ideas around. Share what’s worked for you. Read what’s failed and succeeded at our house. Or at least just feel the camaraderie and share the love… Because it’s nice to have someone to toss ideas around with. It’s nice to know what has ‘worked’ or ‘not worked’ for other people, and it’s nice to hear that other people’s kids eat their poop too. (Wait, what? Just me?)
2 thoughts on “Real Mom Life”
thanks for your words, Carol. We do have MOPS groups nearby. I was considering joining next semester 🙂
Great description of being a Mom of young children. It is a season with a great learning curve. One of the ministries at our church is a MOPS group (mothers of preschoolers). It is a nationwide organization that brings young mothers together for support. It is worth checking out. I am a grandma now but attending MOPS as mentor has reminded me of the years when my children were little. Blessings as you nurture your precious children.
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